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Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Lawn Jockey (2024)
Just not funny anymore
What can I say...this was marginally better than the previous episode but it just isn't funny anymore. What made CYE different from all other such shows was the overarching plot that all came together by the end of the episode to bite Larry's behind and how every little seemingly unrelated thing and person in that episode just came together culminating into the disaster that Larry often faced. Remember the Swan episode? Or the Doll episode? Or the one where the therapist ends up being arrested? Lmao. It still blows my mind as to how Larry could come up with such insanely connected plots. Sadly, that is simply missing now entirely. Now it all seems forced.
No, my taste hasn't changed. I can immediately go back to watch the early seasons and find them just as funny and genius in their plot as I did 15/10/5/4/3/2/1 year(s) ago.
All good things must come to an end and in this particular case that should have happened two seasons ago.
Infinity Pool (2023)
lmao wut
Soooo a country which has apparently mastered and perfected cloning of humans (with memories, too!) is still a poor country lolll.
This movie doesn't need suspension of belief. It needs suspension of all your brain matter outside your brain before you can appreciate anything it has to offer (which is nothing)
Basic sense is not needed when you're making movies for an audience which somehow manages to find meaning in things where there isn't any. The filler scenes were simply pathetic. Filled to the core with just shock scenes upon shock scenes with nothing to back them up plot wise. Just absolutely pathetic. It's a shame that a steaming pile of trash like this is passed off as a film these days.
Ahsoka: Part Eight: The Jedi, the Witch and the Warlord (2023)
Grand Admiral Morawn
I've seen better and more well thought-out plots in miscellaneous low budget adult contents. The trio of most poorly acted heroes have been slowed down while their ship is temporarily crippled. Kindly recall that Grand Admiral Morawn's objective is to leave. He has emphasized this over and over again in the previous episodes. Leaving is his ONLY objective and the only one that matters. His ship is ready and loaded to go and he is told about the heroes riding on the ground on alien horseback approaching rather slowly. At this moment instead of just...leaving...he decides to engage them using the most useless turbo lasers ever to have been created and also ends up eventually sacrificing many troopers and Morgan Elsbeth when no sacrifice was ever required if he had just flown away.
There was no need for this. All he had to do was leave. This le epic tAcTiCiaN is the biggest moron in the universe. This is the quintessential case of "characters can only be as smart as the writers."
Also, remember that sabers do not dismember anymore. Cut off zombie troopers' legs and they can't chase you. Chop of the arms and they can't shoot you. But that doesn't happen anymore in the universe because the rules of physics are fungible! UNLESS it's a beheading. You CAN behead them with a lightsaber but can't cut off the limbs. Sure, buddy, that makes sense. The final blow on Elsbeth by Ahsoka should have Darth Maul'd her body into two pieces.
And, of course! Sabine has force powers! Who could have seen this coming? No way! The writers of this show surely came up with this brilliant idea that hoodwinked the best geniuses in the entire galaxy (and beyond!) and they could never see it coming!
Sabine is as powerful in the force ( suddenly ) as a jedi who has been training in the force since childhood ???because??? Who cares? She can use the force!!!! Yay!!!! You go gurl!!!!!
Before this even a skilled and trained Jedi Ahsoka could not sense her force abilities but now she can pull a lightsaber off the ground and also fling another human across a chasm using the force. She is THAT good, ladies and gentlemen.
Of course, Baylan and Shin were never really important so who cares about giving their story arcs some closure or direction?
From the first episode it was clear that this show was catered towards lead paint chips connoisseurs but I wanted to stick around to see just how much of a trainwreck this is going to be by the end and I wasn't disappointed! Thanks, Disney!
Afwaah (2023)
Another garbage but this time it's also full of propaganda
Well, if you see the N logo before a production, safe bet that it's going to be garbage 9/10 times. Nothing new there. But this is filled with so much propaganda that i wonder if these people have ulterior motives or are just devoid of any touch with reality in the first place and I am not sure which one is worse.
Nothing new, such dumpster fire masquerading as "mUh ArT" is pretty common on Netflix and Prime. But one should also be glad that these people are out in the open due to OTT. How else would you know what to protect your children from?
But what would you really expect from Netflix which also brought in "cuties" and ended up defending it? After seeing that happen, this doesn't surprise me one bit.
Men (2022)
Quintessential example of garbage masquerading as art
Man, I really wanted to like this one. The atmosphere was gripping and I liked the pacing of the movie. However, halfway through the movie, I realized that it is heading in the direction of a trainwreck and that's exactly what it turned out to be. You probably know that feeling well enough by now which tells you that the story isn't going to go anywhere and there is no plot and the writers are going to pull the good old "it was never about the plot" card after wasting everyone's time. And, of course, the problem isn't in the contents of the movie but the viewer is just not smart enough to get what they're trying to say! When will these people realize that putting visually disgusting content in your product does not automatically make it a work of art? I loved the actors but their hard work could not have salvaged this dumpster fire no matter what.
24 (2001)
Basic America Good all else bad nonsense
The first time I actually watched 24 and followed it through was around 2006. I was very young and naive back then. However, I was watching Mandalorian a few days ago and 24 was autoplayed after it ended. Since I never actually saw the first couple of seasons years ago when 24 was on air, I decided to do it now. Fast forward 15 episodes, I realize what cringefest "muh america knows best1!!!" propaganda this show was. I am not saying that they intentionally did propaganda but that's what it inadvertently became.
In the 15th episode, when Palmer tells Bauer his rationale for wanting Drazen dead, he said that he's a "murderer and was gaining support so we had to get rid of him silently".
Give me a break. So, basically, anyone "DA USA DA PARAGON OF WHAT'S RIGHT" deems "bad" deserves to be assassinated. Why not go one step ahead and just assassinate Presidents and Prime Ministers you don't like by labeling them "monsters" ?
Apart from all that, the show lost its novelty in the first few episodes. After that it was the same thing over and over again to the point it becomes tiresome and ludicrous.
These many years later, I realise what garbage of a show this was.
Two stars for the 24 hour format, that's all.
Laal Singh Chaddha (2022)
Incompetence galore
Do you know why some people copy others' work because they're not competent enough to make anything original of their own.
BUT
You'd have to be downright incompetent moron to have failed even at that and fail majestically.
They couldn't even get the military symbols right in this film. And looking like a constipated joker in every film is not "acting".
A lot of people think this "movie" (I use quotation marks here for a reason) is being downrated because of political reasons. That's a good and valid reason imo but even without the said reason, the movie is being given 1-3 stars because it's a steaming pile of hot garbage.
In Hindi there is a saying "nakal ke liye bhi akal chahiye" and I think that in itself can summarise this "movie" for you.
House M.D.: Carrot or Stick (2011)
Chase's plot was downright criminal
In general, I've loved House and have been rewatching it on and off for years now, often times as background noise that doesn't distract me as I've already watched the episodes so many times.
However, everytime I come across this episode, I just skip it because it makes me want to hurl. They tried to "humorize" the actions of a psychotic individual. The girl takes a naked picture of Chase and posts it online and runs credit card fraud on it because she is miffed by his behavior? In what universe is this funny? This is criminal behavior to the core.
And then Chase asks her out instead of suing her both for personal and financial damages? That was just the cherry on the top when it comes to normalizing mentally ill behaviour. But given what we know about hollywood today, in retrospect, it makes sense.
Seems like this episode was written by someone who hasn't mentally grown beyond the age of 12 or 13.
One Mic Stand (2019)
Biggest joke is the IMDb description for this show
Let's see what it says:
"India's biggest actors, politicians, musicians and influencers are trained by top comedians to perform stand-up comedy for their very first time."
>Biggest actors, politicians, musicians and influencers
Basically the biggest losers in their respective fields trying to stay relevant.
> Top comedians
Yeah, sure, if you can laugh at them on account of being as pathetic as they are trying to still matter.
If I remember correctly, one of these "top comedians" level of comedy was making a joke on a minister's appearance when his own face looks as if hair from below the equator has been manually attached to his head with a rather poor show of workmanship.
Watch for the luls if you want to see a bunch of rejects trying to sound funny. It can be considered comedy under the "so bad it's good" category, I suppose.
Hereditary (2018)
Stop with the grating and annoying music in the background
What's with the CONTINUOUS use of grating and migraine inducing music and sound effects throughout the movie? Is that supposed to build suspense and horror somehow? I couldn't even finish this pretentious trite of a movie because of the horrendous sound effects plaguing it throughout.
Four More Shots Please! (2019)
Amazon Studios needs to find new talent in India if it wants to survive.
On one hand Amazon Studios has given us shows like Bosch and on the other hand invests money in "creators" in India who are pretentious bunch of hypocrites who can't write a good plot to save their lives. Time for Amazon to start anew in India and this time, hire actual talents and not a bunch of pseudo-progressives.
Women empowerment = Cussing, having drugs, acting like a constipated screeching idiots.
If you're going to harp on the good ol' muh patriarchy again, at-least don't act like complete hypocrites in YOUR OWN SHOW. It's absolute cringe. At this point, it's almost like when they sit to write the show they have only three ingredients. Sex, cussing and, more sex. Because that's all the talent they have. Acting like loud mouth degenerates does not make this mess "progressive."
Avoid like a plague for your own sanity.
Black Mirror: USS Callister (2017)
Glaring logical fallacies that cannot be ignored
1. As many people have already mentioned, DNA does not contain someone's memory nor the personality.
2. They planned to have Cole steal the DNA in his fridge ( to make sure he can't bring them back.) This logic makes no sense at all. They did not know that he would be stuck in a limbo and in that case, he would have just gotten the DNA again in the office. How does this ensure that he can't bring them back?
3. How does real life cole manage to get into his apartment without any help in the first place?
If the writers expect the viewers to just ignore plotholes this big and/or then they must believe that the viewers are idiots which is highly disrespectful.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Completely unoriginal and lacking any coherence
First of all, what the hell is going on with this trilogy? The stories are not even vaguely connected. Entire scenes can be ignored and it wouldn't make any difference.
Palpatine: A man who was so powerful AND intelligent, single-handedly managed to prop an entire empire by manipulating all the strings, right under the nose of the Jedi council and the most powerful Jedis and who managed to turn Anakin into Vader by sheer manipulation is somehow destroyed just like that by Mary Sue Rey. There is a reason why the original trilogy worked. It showed that when facing insurmountable odds and might, if people truly work together, such odds may be defeated. People who weren't even that Force sensitive had their contribution. Like Han Solo or Lando. Vader wasn't enough to take down palpatine on his own. Luke was not either. Obi-wan couldn't. All the jedis couldn't. But somehow Rey was above all of them and was able to defeat palpyboy pronto. And to justify this ridiculous plot full of Mary Sue-ness, they made her his granddaughter.
Unprecedented pooping on a franchise.
2 stars for all the staff / designers / fx guys who managed to string together this incoherent mess into a movie with good effects.
The Affair: Episode #5.11 (2019)
Not too bad but there could have been more closure.
I loved the show. The dialogue and acting was sublime. I'll sorely miss this show. A lot of people have had trouble with season 5 ended up but we have to take into account the fact that nobody really knows why Ruth Wilson had to leave. Whatever the reason was, the writers had to pick the show from there and when one takes that into consideration, I don't think they did bad at all.
Now when it comes to the finale, the way everything came full circle was nice to see. It started with Noah, really, and it ended with him. Having said that, I felt that many characters were not done justice in the finale who should have had more closure. We know Helen is dead but how did she die? What happened to Noah's kids? Are they estranged from him? We do see that Stacey becomes a writer herself as Noah is reading her book "Montauk" presumably based on her life growing up as a child and everything that happened with her parents but some further closure would have been nice. The other kids?
A little more closure about the characters would have been better.
But, like I said, it was in no way a bad finale. Quite the opposite.
Noah's mistakes caused his family, even through generations, a lot of pain. But the last conversation he has with Joanie, he breaks that cycle and stops the "pain to passover" any further as Joanie goes back to her family. He has, thus, redeemed himself.
Made in Heaven (2019)
A hypocritical virtue-signalling pretentious show
Oh boy where do I start?
This show is the usual virtue-signalling, male-bashing (that, too, out loud in your face) garbage that tries to bludgeon you with morals which, by the way, the writers of the show made sure are completely hypocritical. Let me illustrate my point.
SPOILERS BELOW
So there is this episode where a bride breaks off her marriage at the last moment when the show's protagonist decides (oh that moral fiber) to tell her that the to-be husband's parents have demanded a huge dowry. Mind you, that the mother was also involved in this bribery but somehow it's the "mentality of Indian males" that is at fault single-handedly. Queue your usual angrez inspired India-bashing.
BUT, let's for a moment give them the benefit of the doubt that they are trying to "bring about a change in the society."
But, oh no, let's check out this other episode:
In this episode, a land-whale (bride) decides to cheat on his to-be husband with some superstar/actor. Not only that, she and her friend are rather proud of it. But at the last moment she sheds some tears and says she has fallen in love with the to-be husband. So, the husband is deliberately kept in the dark and lied to (by the so called protagonists of the show! The heroes! ) to make sure that the marriage happens. Their morality and lectures on what's right that they are shoving down your throat (even with a crafted monologue where it was not necessary) is conveniently thrown out of the window. Yeah, sure, the girl cried at the end so the husband doesn't need to know that he's marrying a slut.
Pass on this SJW crap and save your sanity.
2 star given simply to the technical team.
P.S. What's with the fake accents? It's laughable.
IT (2017)
Mediocrity all over the place
I don't have very specific complaints from the movie other than that it was just...mediocre. And all over the place. It failed to set any "tone" to the movie. Is it supposed to be scary? Or funny? Or a mix of both? The character development was sort of really poor. Especially when it comes to the sexual abuse victim.
Comic relief was used a bit too much for a movie that's supposed to show the darker tones of life. The fear and apprehension that should have been sketched as it's supposed to be when your brother is killed off by a paranormal evil entity was watered down by the all over the place spectrum of emotions.
And by God the length of the movie was way overstretched for the content that they had to offer.
Just...mediocre B grade movie. The rating its getting kind of insults the hard work and brilliance that a lot of movies had to showcase to get the rating this movie is getting for no reason.
Dunkirk (2017)
Cash grab by exploiting an emotional and historic topic
Technically, the movie was strong. But that's about it.
Watching the movie felt like as if everyone involved with the movie knew very well that since the topic is something that touches an entire generation of people around the world and the sheer scale and significance of the event the movie allegedly portrays, people will and should just slurp it up. Who cares about the story and how it unfolds? Why work on it when we'll just keep showing the horrors of war using nice VFX? People are BOUND to say it's good or they'll be called insensitive.
Zero efforts were made in storytelling. It was not a movie and neither was it a documentary. No story to call it the former and not enough facts to call it the latter. It was just a cheap effort slapped up together to have a sure shot way of earning profits.
And why shouldn't they? Look at the raving reviews calling it a masterpiece. They do it because it works.
Wonder Woman (2017)
Cringeworthy
I am really losing hope in everything that I used to believe in, in general, thee days. This load of crap is rated 8.5? What the hell?
The movie is so weak, It's like the movie makers don't even care about anything anymore other than completely depend on CGI and good effects. Like they KNOW we are that dumb and will just take it up. The story was god awful, stupid even by superhero comic standards and the acting was atrocious.
There was literally ZERO character development for any of them. No depth. It just all was whipped along as if for the sake of completing the movie. None of the characters were likable and relatable on a psychological level. Comic relief was forced and did not make us laugh. Watching Diana do her innocent act was totally unbelievable and as fake as it can get.
I fell asleep. My girlfriend well asleep and my friend who is generally very tolerating of dumb movies EVEN he fell asleep.
But that's okay, not a lot of movies are necessarily good. But what breaks my heart and trust in the movie world is that this is getting so much attention and respect with a stellar rating. It's an insult to some of the other gems people have produced to see films like these get ratings similar to theirs.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)
What the hell did I just watch?
I actually lost a lot of brain cells today. I should have trusted my instinct which told me after 10 minutes of atrociously written, poorly shot and nauseatingly acted nonsense that I should leave. But I said to myself, lets stick, maybe it will redeem itself.
Oh, but no, it just got worse and worse till it crossed all lines of idiocy. The characters were like disposable stick figures with no concept of personality at all. Jokes were bad, really really bad and you could feel how pathetically they were inserted into the movie just to give it some redeeming value in form of comic reliefs which also failed.
I left in the mid-movie as I could just easily sit and stare at a blank wall and pay money for it. I still lose the money but at-least get to keep my neurons alive.
Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016)
Watch to induce epileptic seizures...without prior history
Seeing the previous films, I wasn't going in with any expectations at all. Just wanted to have some mind numbing fun. But this movie doesn't even let you do that. Because of the constant shaking, nerve damaging ways of switching cameras and nausea inducing editing, you can hardly keep up (with whatever that this movie has to keep up with.)
There is no sense in the movie, even for a Sci-Fi one where you shut off critical parts of the brain. The acting was bad, the characters were ridiculous and plot holes so big that the entire Raccoon city could fit in it with the underground hive.
Have you or anyone in your family doubts that you might be prone to epileptic seizures?
Take them to this movie. If this doesn't trigger it, you can safely walk the earth knowing nothing else will.
The Hateful Eight (2015)
Violence is funny, apparently
I am actually aghast to see how this film is has a rating of 8 on here.
There was just unnecessary over the top violence in this movie. And not in a way where violence is shown in order to support the storyline and make it gripping. No, not here. The movie seemed like the story itself was put in there to justify violence, as an excuse; than the other way round. People blowing each other off, heads exploding and your privates being shot off are never funny and only serve a purpose when they are required to show the seriousness or gravity of a situation.
This movie was a 3 hour long wastage of time that you may otherwise still have in life.
Roy (2015)
A punishment
This is my first review. I had to write it because this is the movie I stepped out of in an hour even when I had no other plans. It's awful.
- Fake accents dripping into Hindi as well - Arjun Rampal could have been replaced with a cactus with zero change in the quality of cast (really) - Again, atrociously incorrect fake accents - Dialogues so cheesy and dumb that you will get tired rolling your eyes.
- Arjun Rampal's character was trying to be as witty as Dr. House failing miserably.
- I can't say how bad the story was because, like I said, I left the cinema after an hour of sheer torture.
Take your money and meticulously tear it into 100 small pieces. You'll get more mental stimulation from that than watching this movie.