Day in the life of a veterinary nurse.

As it’s veterinary nurse awareness month I thought I give some highlights of The day of a veterinary nurse. 7am start to the lovely aroma of diarrhoea and vomit. Plus side the night nurse has kept them all clean even if it looks like birds are going to start tweeting out of her hair at any given moment. After a 12 hour shift she hands over her patients, during handover I am introduced to Lewis the beagle. Lewis is dribbling and nauseas. He’s definitely eaten something he shouldn’t have but Lewis doesn’t go out anywhere on his own and is constantly supervised 23/7 As I’m talking to Lewis in my squeaky voice he kindly throws up a frog? Well either Lewis has been out on his own or his owners are taken raw meat diet to the extreme, maybe had a french cuisine or been on frog patrol. Must ask owners. After handover, all patients are medicated and tucked up in bed. 8am is here and it’s admission time, first one in is Andrew, andrew is a 6 month old Labrador with no manners but loves you and especially loves your crotch, not embarrassing at all. Andrews owners cannot pick him up until 6pm closing time (I wonder why this is) while filling in the consent form I’m asked if Andrew will be a different dog when he goes home as he’s partial to eating aunt Betty’s teeth and underwear. I explain that neutering will not change this behaviour. That will need training. Andrews Owners Beg me to do something ? (Must remember my fairy dust later) Andrew comes in and cocks his leg up on all standing objects including myself. The urine is warm and soaks into my socks and shoes. Lovely. He then tries to hump my other leg whilst I draw up his pre med. After admissions we set up for operating and I must remember To tell Andrew that on recovery he must wake up a different dog, he is to sit, stand, roll over, jump through hoops, and practice Mozart on the piano every night and please stop eating aunt Betty’s underwear. When it’s Andrews time for theatre I use my hypnotic voice and tell Andrew you will be a model dog and go onto win Britain’s got talent for his Mozart piece but for that to happen we must remove your nuts cause that’s the answer to all disobedient crotch sniffing, underwear thieves. Don’t know why the human field ain’t thought of this. Next a Phone call comes in from the lovely Mrs Smith. Boris the budgie escaped after watching the latest Liverpool match. Boris was so excited he opened his cage and flew around. Boris is a big Liverpool fan. Mrs Smith wants to know if she can have an emergency call out to catch Boris who’s perched on her curtain rail. The conversation involves Liverpool, brexit, Megan and Harry and Idris Elba. Within this time Boris is back in his cage. Who’s a good boy! It’s lunch time and receptionist Amy comes in to say Kelli the bIchon has eaten a box of delicious Thornton’s. All hands on deck, anti emetics ready, fluids, newspapers, towels and activated charcoal. Dinner is no longer on the agenda, Kelli is in and looks very pleased with herself. The anti emetic is administered and within seconds Kelli vomits up all the lovely Thornton’s she’s eaten and completely misses the paper. I pray that this is the time I will truly be put off by chocolate as I clear it away. Activated charcoal is now on board and Kelli the white bichon now looks like a black chow chow with a necrotic tongue. Okay no time for dinner, i am sure in my coat pocket there’s a mars bar. Yes it’s a bit sticky and has been in my pocket for a few days, it has some random looking hair attached to it but it’s food (ah that chocolate vomit clearly ain’t put me off once again) I eat the mars bar. Mmmm. Afternoon consults start and the lovely Mr dean is in with his old dog dexter. Dexter is 16 and unfortunately cannot get up. The decision is made to put the lovely Dexter to sleep. I can’t help but worry about mr dean living in a small town and make a mental note in my head I must find out what’s going on in his community to get him out. I’ve done this before where bingo was set up in a local community centre with bring your own food and drink. It went down a storm with the residents. No one actually remembers who wins the bingo or if they even play bingo but it’s a job well done for bringing lonely people together. The lovely Dexter went to sleep peacefully and mr dean in on my list to ring over next few days. Animals are our best friends we need support and people who understand grieving of an animal. I’m feeling a little emotional. Next there 16 Rottweiler puppies for vaccination and sad emotions Need to be switched to happiness and I have to say I’m nearly wetting myself with excitement. I do love puppies. We need to come up with a plan to tell who we have health checked and vaccinated. Light bulb moment goes off and why don’t I take the puppies out the back to play in puppy pen whilst another nurse holds for vaccination. It’s like pass the parcel or pass the puppy. I’m so happy. Within a space of An hour we’ve lost a life and vaccinated 16 new lives. Emotions are running high. It’s time to give the place a good clean. I am always suspicious of stains on the wall in consult room. Generally means anal glands have been expressed at some stage. Then it’s hunt for the pens, stethoscope, scissors, thermometer that was there only half hour ago during consults. Vet consulting can’t understand where they are. Do I tell him the pen is behind his ear stethoscope around his neck and what’s that in your pocket? Dare I ask if it’s a thermometer? Nah leave it be and just replace them. 6pm is closing time, Andrew owners just about make it and ask if he’s really been neutered and did we do anything as he knocks them out with excitement. I have a scowl cause my magic has not worked and Andrew is clearly going to go back and eat aunt Betty’s teeth. Night staff back in, now it’s me that looks like I have birds nesting in my hair and I’m ready for bed.